Welcome!

Thank you so much for stopping by to follow my blog. This is my journey. A journey to find peace and hope. Along the way I will find myself sharing very deep personal things that I have been through that can give others hope. Along the way, There may be a devotion thrown in. I am of the Christian Faith and believe in Jesus Christ. I know that my hope lies within him. I will mistakes and you will read about them here, but it just goes to show that we are all human and we have a Father in heaven who loves us enough to forgive us of all of our sins. I am coming clean through this blog. No more secrets, no more hiding. It's time to find hope and give hope.
You will notice that posts are not made everyday. I have limited internet access and post as I can. I keep a journal that I write in every night, so you may see 2 or 3 posts on the same day.

Again, thank you for stopping by. May you find a little bit of yourself in here and take away some encouragement. May God Bless.







Wednesday, February 16, 2011

No Fear?

I have found myself scared out of my mind. I wake up in the morning and can't get out of bed because I am terrified of what will happen. It's crazy right? I feel like I am taking 10 steps back in my recovery. I know that this is something that is in my mind. I have tried all the positive talk and yet I am still scared. I still have no job and July will be here before I know it. I have to make a decision regarding my future. When I think about my future I stop in my tracks and can't even think. I feel paralyzed. I'm not sure how to make it go away. I am praying and studying more about prayer. I keep thinking that there has to be something more here for me. I have "given" my problems to God but I know that I am taking them back. Can I really trust God to work in my life? Obviously I don't because I'm scared and questioning it. I am in Florida now hoping to find answers. I don't know who I'm kidding. I think I'm trying to convince myself. All I know is I am not patient and that may have something to do with it. I'm scared because I don't have a plan and I'm just living day to day not really sure of what tomorrow will bring. Maybe that's why I don't want to get out of bed or even leave the house. Answers. I need answers. God if ur listening...I'm sending out an SOS. I'm going backwards not forwards. Fear will not hold me. I just need to let God take control and work. Maybe pray harder and fast. Lord, please work on me and teach me.
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